Thursday 17 July 2008

I'm going outside; I may be sometime....

Well, I am going to study France. In a deeply incarnational way. If I can get my tyre repaired (nail discovered this evening- after the shops were shut) in time, we are off sometime tommorrow morning.

No internet, no blogging for some considerable time.....

Wednesday 16 July 2008

Window dressing

I managed a picture- here it is......

Still not in the right place, but its a start.

The picture is true though, isn't it?

Tuesday 15 July 2008

Miscelaneous

...and don't I need to learn how to spell.....

A pottering few days- but then I never really potter- everything is focussed:-

-Pottering around the house/garden.
-Pottering with the kids.
-Village fun day and some free beer.....
-A day in Bolton Abbey with friends.

Plus... we have our first digital camera. I'm going to have to do a very un bloke thing and read some instructions. Pray for me. Maybe I'll post some photos....

Went to a church on Sunday pm. A bit cheesy. But it set me thinking; cheesy worship, Methodist boredom, high liturgy (I'm Gen X, I use irony)---- at the end of the day does it really matter as long as relationships are growing and journeying towards Acts 2:42-7, as long as the poor are lifted up, as long as we become question marks and signposts? Its really set me thinking as I am 'good' (whatever that means) at leading worship, but poor at motivating and demonstrating the rest.

And that's the dilemma.... and that is what I ned to come out of this sabbatical with...

Hoping to post once more before a long, long long holiday and lots of blog silence.....

Thursday 10 July 2008

Drinking or working? Part 3

'Lets go out for coffee' was the word in the school line today.

Who am I to refuse an invite for caffeine ( or alcohol?!)- so we went.

Great chance for both of us for long, unhurried conversation- loved it.Eventually got round to the questions. Note: my friend 'Dr Foster' is 39, 2 kids. That would be the third conversation with a professional, aged 39-41, with 2 kids. This is highly representative of society at large.....

He went to church from 4 to 14; mainly Methodist with some Anglican. He walked away after he was confirmed (!) and when a Sunday rugby team started. He said he never believed, but what he loved was the 'community feel'. But as soon as he could 'cycle away', he did.

First impressions of the word 'church'- a building. A deeper impression is 'community'.Why would he ever go to a church? He loves buildings and their sense of history. He wouldn't go to a church at worship as he doesn't see belief as valid (or relevant?). However, he would be more than happy to go to the occasional Christain themed thingy if it was an 'outdoor gig.

'Spirituality' is important. 'It is important that you think about your place in the world and its impact on you/your impact on it'. Being part of a group. 'Its just human values'.

There was more, much more...but it was good.

A John Drane book arrived by Amazon today....yippee...

Perhaps may see some cricket tommorrow if weather is good and domestic negotiations (which are at a delicate stage) are successful....... although I did an 11 mile walk yesterday around Battersby/Ingleby incline.....

Tuesday 8 July 2008

Drinking or working? Part 2

Out early evening yesterday. Dropped oldest off at Beavers and then to the pub for an hour with the youngest, his friend and her dad. Time for another run at my questions, this time with 'Mr Philby'.

Again, my age (ish)- male, 2 children. As a recap, these are the questions:-

  • Did you ever go?
  • First impressions of word ‘church?’
  • What led to you walking away?
  • What kind of church would you go to?
  • Is spirituality important?

So.... he was confirmed in a CoWales church and went to a church school. It was a place he valued and felt comfortable in.

The 'c' word- 'childhood', 'nostalgic'. Church was compulsory, but not resented at school. He now describes himself as a 'Creaster' Christian- always there at Christmas and Easter, but no more than that (has appeared at 'Sunday Breakfast' and 'Messy Church' from time to time.) He did start to come more often since the children were born- felt it was important for them to have a Christian framework. Wanted to replicate his childhood for them. This was a 'positive' and not a 'passive' statement.

His training in environmental science has led him to question the existance of God, but not actively. Science and faith contradict- particularly the O.T.

If he went to a church, it would be CoE- nostalgia and knowing the hymns. Feeling safe in the liturgy.

Spirituality is hard to define, but it is important- lies behind all his answers.

Annoyance- why have good human values been hijacked by religion? So, for instance- 'human values' become 'Christian values'.


A lot to think about for me. Again, not least the importance of 'third places'- being in situations where I have no authority- using these questions as jumping off points and listening...,...

Oh well- finally (at 1.30am) the GCSEs have finished- no framework now......

Monday 7 July 2008

I want to be a rock star: parts 3-5

Ok I should have posted over the weekend, but I didn't. I was 'too busy'.

The Cornshed has finished: what a fantastic time. Fave act: The Wildcats of Kilkenny.

I finally realised what 'loitering with intent' meant. I went for both nights and that was all I did- loitering, talking, praying, drinking.

Reckon I had more God conversations in the 2 nights than I would in 2 months or more. All just by hanging around, having no agendas & being in a space where I had no authority or right to be heard.

There is something about having a God conversation that starts with a half drunk person in an open air gents urinal......

Comments from an ex-Salvationist that would not be sure that he would call himself a Christian.

Him: 'What does a Cornshed chaplain do?'
Me: 'Its like repeatedly digging bore-holes, thousands of them (he worked in construction)- and seeing what's there...'

He compared it to someone he knew in marketing- not all the stuff I do gets a result, 50% is a waste of time, but I don't know which 50%, so I have to keep doing it......

Then the comment- 'I liked the SA- the uniforms had a good reason for them- it gave an identity- no-one knew whether you were rich or poor- you just looked the same. It was good. But- they were trying to reach the really poor, the uniforms were starting to cost too much. And the uniform became so culturally irrelevant that the people they were trying to reach just laughed at them. The worst of it was- SA people got hung up on defending the uniform and not seeing the wider picture'.

Someone else (loosley part of the Sunday Breakfast) about being ex RC and perhaps (self description) being an agnostic- but I want my kids to have a Christian framework- they will be better equipped to make choices, rather than no framework. And the encouragement to keep doing what I'm doing- people notice....

Thought for next year- someone said 'You need to be more visible here'- how about a shirt with 'God squad' on? How about giving away something?

Another thought- people, especially blokes, are open when becoming pickled--- so discuss for implications for mission?

Friday 4 July 2008

I wanty to be a rock star: part 2

Comment from a 16 year old working at the Cornshed: 'So what exactly does a chaplain do at the Cornshed?'

'Loitering with intent; something might happen, nothing might happen- just being around. Plus I love rock music'. I suppose that someone more articulate might be able to tease a book with lots of long words and touchy feely poetry out of that....

Thinking of Nouwen (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wounded-Healer-Ministry-Contemporary-Society/dp/0232521026/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1215159892&sr=1-3)and his time as a chaplainn on an ocean liner:-

'God damn it, Father, get out of my way.' But when I was ready to run away, filled with feelings of incompetence and guilt, he came back and said: 'Why don't you just stay around. This might be the only time I really need you.' (p86).

...back to the marking....

Thursday 3 July 2008

I wanna be a rock star: part one

I really do- but I can't play guitar.

So I figured- the next best thing to do is to be some kind of rock chaplain. I wrote to Micheal Eavis- decent methodist that he is, about Glastonbury, but nothing came of that (and I just fancied staggering out of a limo, bottle of communion wine in hand, shades, large cross...).

Next best thing? The cornshed http://thecornshed.org.uk/ local bash- 1000 each night & Judy is a church memeber. She asked- will you be our chaplain- we have never had one? I said 'Yes' (well I said a lot more)- not knowing what to do.

So I turned up yesterday to be a chaplain, which I think means 'loitering with intent'- doing stuff, mucking in, trying to listen to God and to other people & having a good time. I made tea, pushed equipment, put up a gazebo and just chatted. Fantastic- wish I could do it all the time.

Judy introduced me to loads of people. Towards the end- bumped into 'David Bailey', the photographer. Just above my age, 4 kids- self decribed 'former alpha male' and raised as an 'aggressive athiest'. Fascinating conversation that rose from just hanging around. Conversation put me in mind of the great Van Morrison 'did you feel the silence?'- ie 'did you feel the spirit. 'David Bailey' described a journey of, whilst being 'non-religious'- encouraging his children to go to his wife's RC church and going a long and enjoying it.

Key memory (for me)- 'I'm glad someone like you is here.' 'i hear the church is going through a bad patch- on-one is coming. You need to persevere- we will come round to you. We will be glad you were there in the end.' Perhaps really being a Christian in our post- everything culture is slowing down, listening for the 'voice from the wilderness?'

Wednesday 2 July 2008

A long post.....

Hate reading long posts on other people's blogs. Especially without pictures.

So I'm going to do a long post. Without pictures. That is partly because I haven't worked out pictures yet. This is from an e-group that I'm part of- someone posted it yesterday. It is in it's sexist, American entirity....

STRESS AND BURNOUT IN MINISTRYby Rowland Croucher

_____ It was a grey Canadian morning in April 1982. The children had gone to school, my wife to work, and I did something I'd never done before. I turned the phone down, put a note on the front door, and went back to bed. I was burned out - and within two months resigned my ministry there. Meanwhile, back in Australia, four books about ministry had come off the presses. Note the titles: The Plight of the Australian Clergy, High Calling High Stress, Battle Guide for Christian Leaders - an Endangered Species, and Conflict and Decline.

FIRST, THE BAD NEWS

(1) 'Stress now contributes to 90% of all diseases. Half of all visits to doctors are stress-related'. 'Anxiety reduction' may now be the largestsingle business in the Western world.

(2) 'Doctors, lawyers and clergy have the most problems with drug abuse,alcoholism and suicide.'

(3) 'Research 25 years ago showed clergy dealing with stress better thanmost professionals. Since 1980, studies in the U.S. describe an alarmingspread of burnout in the profession. For example, Jerdon found three out off our parish ministers (sample: 11,500) reported severe stress causing'anguish, worry, bewilderment, anger, depression, fear, and alienation'.

Why is pastoral ministry so stressful? The reasons may be as numerous and unique as there are pastors.

However, recent research is unanimous in citing the following problem areas:

  • the disparity between (somewhat idealistic) expectations and hard reality;
  • lack of clearly defined boundaries - tasks are never done;
  • workaholism ('bed-at-the-church' syndrome); the PeterPrinciple - feeling of incompetence in leading an army of volunteers;
  • conflict in being a leader and servant at the same time ('line-support contamination');
  • intangibility - how do I know I'm getting somewhere?;
  • confusion of role identity with self image - pastors derive too much self-esteem from what they do;
  • time management problems (yet pastors have more 'discretionary time' than any other professional group);
  • paucity of'perks';
  • multiplicity of roles;
  • inability to produce 'win-win' conflict resolutions;
  • difficulty in managing interruptions;
  • the 'little adult'syndrome (Dittes) - clergy are too serious, they have difficulty being spontaneous;
  • preoccupation with 'playing it safe' to avoid enraging powerful parishioners; '
  • administration overload' - too much energy expended in areas of low reward;
  • loneliness - the pastor is less likely to have a close friendthan any other person in the community.

STRESS

Stress and burnout are not the same . Hans Selye defines stress in terms of the response your body makes to any demand on it. There is 'good stress' (eustress) - associated with feelings of joy, fulfilment,achievement - and 'bad stress' (distress), which is prolonged or too-frequent stress. It is not possible (without a frontal lobotomy) to live without stress.Originally the term came from physics: the application of sufficient force to an object to distort it. So stress comes from 'outside' the organism,causing your body to respond in either 'fight' (when angry) or 'flight'(fear). Actually, stress is the transaction that takes place between you and your environment. The outside event impinges on your belief system, your brain interprets what's happening, and tells your body how to respond. Adrenalin is pumped into your bloodstream; blood is diverted from various organs to brain and muscles; pupils dilate (making vision more acute); hands and feet perspire; breathing and heart-rate increase, etc. The body is on'red alert', the alarm response.

Most of us are not subject to physical danger very often, but whenever you are 'driven' by a very tight program, or threatened by a demand or expectation you don't think you can meet, your body reacts in the same way.In fact, medical experts are now saying that 'Type A' people in particular may be suffering a kind of 'adrenalin addiction'. Dr. David McClelland,professor of psychology at Harvard, says stress addiction is similar to the state of physiological arousal some people derive from a dependency on alcohol, caffeine and nicotine.

A recent book Management and the Brain(Soujanen and Bessinger) suggests that some professionals are actually'hooked' on stress. They get a 'high' out of controlling people and makingcomplex decisions. Dr. Paul Rosch, president of the American Institute of Stress, says the Type A male (50% of all pastors are Type A, according toDr. Arch Hart) who is 'living in the fast lane... has become addicted to his own adrenalin and unconsciously seeks ways to get those little surges'. These days more of us will die from a stress-related illness than from infection or old age. The only advantage of living stressfully : you'll get to meet your Lord earlier!

DISTRESS: SYMPTOMS AND CAUSES

Your body is designed to give warning signals of stress overload, which may include insomnia or disturbed sleep, digestive problems, headaches, low energy, chronic tiredness, psychosomatic illnesses, muscle tension, teethgrinding, high blood pressure, etc.

Arch Hart again: 'Stress is 'hurrysickness'. The symptoms are often seen by the victim as obstacles to performance and success that he or she merely wants to get rid of. Seldom does the disease of over-stress slow the victim down - not until the final blow is struck and the ulcer, stroke or heart attack occurs.'

Stressors come to Christian leaders in four categories.

(1) Bio-ecological factors related to poor diet (too much caffeine, refined white sugar, processed flour, salt etc.) and poor exercise habits. They alsoinclude noise and air pollution.

(2) Vocational factors include career uncertainty; role ambiguity (a lack of clearly defined and mutually-agreed ministry functions); role conflict(between church expectations and personal or family needs); role overload(too many real or imagined expectations); lack of opportunities to 'derole'and be yourself, for a change; loneliness (95% of Australian pastors do nothave a spiritual director); time management frustrations - and many more.

(3) Psychological factors relate principally to the great life-change stressors - from the most stressful (such as the loss of a spouse), through divorce, death of a close family member, personal injury or illness, all the way to getting ready for Christmas or being handed a speeding fine!

(4) Spiritual causes of stress may include temptations of all kinds (sexual,despair if your church isn't growing, jealousy of the success of others,anxiety over financial problems, anger - 'close to a professional vice in the contemporary ministry' says Henri Nouwen - and any other way the devil can get at us). Even prayer can be stressful according to one study!

BURNOUT

Burnout is emotional exhaustion, 'compassion fatigue' (Hart). So even less-competitive Type B Christians can suffer burnout. And the most conscientious people-helpers are most vulnerable.

Researchers like Maslach,Freudenberger and others from 1977 onwards gave the name 'burn-out' to the special stressors associated with social and interpersonal pressures.

Dr. Arch Hart says burnout symptoms may include demoralization (belief you are not longer effective as a pastor); depersonalization (treating yourself and others in an impersonal way); detachment (withdrawing from responsibilities); distancing (avoidance of social and interpersonal contacts); and defeatism (a feeling of being 'beaten').

Christina Maslach, who described burnout as 'a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion marked by physical depletion and chronic fatigue,feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, and by development of a negative self-concept and negative attitudes towards work, life and other people',offers the following signs:

(1) Decreased energy -'keeping up the speed' becomes increasingly difficult;

(2) feeling of failure in vocation;

(3) reduced sense of reward in return for pouring so much of self into thejob or project;

(4) a sense of helplessness and inability to see a way out of problems;

(5) cynicism and negativism about self, others, work and the world generally.

Personality and attitudinal factors may increase the propensity to burnout eg.: the pressure to succeed; an authoritarian personality which may come across insensitively (or a too-sensitive person who can feel with others'hurts but who is vulnerable to criticism); inner-directed rage;under assertiveness - feeling victimized; carrying too much guilt about our humanness (an occupational hazard for clergy, so we develop facades for various occasions); inflexibility; and many more.

The essence of the problem, however, is the clash between expectations and reality. Clergy are often put on a pedestal - by others, and by themselves.Many of these expectations just can't be met. We try to please, but may either become too goal-oriented for our people, or else too accommodating to their spiritual 'slackness'. 'Strongly goal-oriented ministers will almost inevitably experience more frustration than process-oriented ones' (Hart).

We are working with volunteers, many of whom aren't there when the work is unrewarding. And we're stuck with each other - pastors have not hired most of the lay people they work with. And so if we're not careful, depending on our personality-type, we may become perfectionistic, over-conscientious, develop one side of our ministry disproportionately, or maybe identify so closely with our calling that if it falls apart, we do too.

People-helpers have another hazard: in our counselling we're exposed almost exclusively to the negative sides of people's lives. So the pastoral leader ought to spend as much time with the strong as with the weak - for his own sake (they give him strength and support), for the leaders' sakes (they can be trained for ministry), and for the spiritual and emotional health of thewhole church (there are more ministering persons available to help). Wasn't it A.B. Bruce who suggested Jesus spent more time with the disciples than with the crowds?

PREVENTION AND CURE

Again, the people studying this phenomenon are becoming unanimous in their suggestions to Christian people-helpers:

1. Find fresh spiritual disciplines. A conference in California has the theme 'One Hundred Ways to Pray'. Well, find about three or four, and 'shut the door' as Jesus said (i.e. put in a telephone answering-machine), and learn the art of relaxing, contemplative prayer.Then, as the New Testament suggests, don't be surprised when trials come your way. Jesus promised us trouble! So, as psychotherapist M. Scott Peck points out in his brilliant book The Road Less Traveled, when you expect life to be difficult, it is much less difficult.

2. Take regular time off. You aren't called to work harder than your Creator. Develop a way of being 'through for the day' (at least most days).Take your full four weeks' annual leave in one stretch (and make alternative arrangements for weddings, etc.). Encourage your denomination to include two weeks' extra, all-expenses-paid study leave each year. On your day/s off, do something very different from what you do the other days. (Wednesday orThursday is best for preachers - away from the adrenalin-arousing Sundays). Listen to Spurgeon: 'Repose is as needful to the mind as sleep to the body... If we do not rest, we shall break down. Even the earth must lie fallow and have her Sabbaths, and so must we'. Jesus said, 'Come apart and rest awhile'. (If you don't rest awhile, you'll soon come apart!).

3. Get proper exercise and sleep. Exercise fairly vigorously 3-4 times aweek. Walk, swim, play tennis; perspire and regularly breathe deeply. Allow adequate time for sleep. Dr. Hart again: 'Adrenal arousal reduces our need for sleep - but this is a trap; we ultimately pay the penalty. Most adults probably need 8-9 hours' a night!'

4. Relax. The relaxation response is the opposite of the fight/flight response. Just 20 minutes a day when we're free from the tyranny of 'things present' is enough to counteract the harmful effects of stress. Two ways to relax: tighten each set of muscles from your feet to your face, counting to five before relaxing them; or begin meditation by repeating a one-word or one-phrase prayer ('Maranatha', 'Lord have mercy'), repeat it slowly over and over and enjoy the 'other side of silence'.

5. Join a small support/prayer group. Ministry peers will better understand your needs; a cross-denominational group will enhance trust and provide other spiritualities. Then there's the classical discipline of 'spiritual direction' (or spiritual friendships). Who is Paul to your Timothy? Who teaches you to pray aright, as John the Baptist and Jesus taught their disciples? To whom do you confess your sins (James 5:16)? Luther said every priest ought to have such a 'father in God'. Congregations can help their pastor by praying more than they criticize him or her; having open communications re goals and expectations; recognizing that the pastor is human and will make mistakes like all of us; being as generous as possible financially (e.g. encouraging study leave); and protecting the privacy of the pastor's family life.

6. Cognitive restructuring (i.e. changing one's thinking). Take a personal audit. Reassess your goals; like your clothes, change them sometimes. Improve your self-attitudes. Learn a healthy assertiveness (e.g. by using the middle two letters of the alphabet - NO - sometimes, without apology). Know your gifts, and your limits. Face your fears; don't avoid them by pretence, or bury them in an addiction. Above all, avoid states of helplessness: take time to develop coping strategies for difficult situations. Learn not to make catastrophes out of ordinary events (increasing paranoia - 'they're out to get me' - is a sign of burnout). Be a growing person: if God has yet more light and truth to break forth from his Word, what new understandings have you experienced recently? Freudenberger suggests: 'Discard outmoded notions. Don't wear points of view just because you used to! Like old-fashioned clothes, they may become ill-fitting andridiculous as time goes on'.

7. Have fun! To belong to the kingdom you have to be like little children. They aren't bothered about piles of correspondence or running the world.They get absorbed in things, even forgetting to run their own lives! So develop a few 'interesting interests': buy a bird-book and identify 100 native birds; collect stamps; play indoor cricket; take your spouse to an ethnic restaurant; give each of your kids an hour a week, where you do together what they suggest; build something ; audit a course. But do something! And laugh sometimes! Did you know your body will not let youlaugh and develop an ulcer at the same time? Remember, with humourist Kin Hubbard: 'Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive!'

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Map

Powered By Blogger

What I'm listening to....

  • Alison Krauss/Robert Plant- Raising Sand
  • Bon Iver- For Emma, Forever Ago
  • Bright Eyes- Cassadaga
  • Coldplay- Viva la Vida or Death and all His Friends
  • Dan Le Sac V Scroobius Pip- Angles
  • Fleet Foxes-Fleet Foxes
  • Flight of the Conchords
  • My own compilation: Songs of morbid introspection Volume 2
  • Portishead: Third
  • Radiohead: OK Computer

My Blog List

About Me

My photo
I exist in time and space most of the time. Married to Victoria, 2 children.