This is not me; for one thing, I am not an angry woman
(at least not time I checked in the bathroom, although there are many industrial chemical factories not far from here) and for another I had one of those mellow Sundays that was beautiful (a baptism of some good friends' daughter and their farewell service before emmigration. Just beautiful- a thin place and some very affirming comments).
This is not me, but why o why o why o why o why? Just these last few days I have witnessed some unseemly spats (
did you like the 19th century english just there?) on an e-group I am part of (of Methodist ministers of all people) and on one or 2 websites that I like.
I know why...people get upset, angry, furious even. I do and I do often. It is so easy to post first and ask questions later. I wonder if part of it is the nature of being a Christian/being in full time ministry?
Even my postmodern, casual, ironic, slacker self wants someone to like me/affirm me as a success or at least better than someone else. I want to be 'right'. I get angry with people who I think are 'wrong'.
It is hard to get in touch with your own insignificance, acknowledge it even; especially as a 'professional Christian'. This is not to wallow in middle-class guilt (looking at my last few cd purchases, I do seem to be like that); you can't lose your perspective that although you screw up big time, you are valued and unique.
But as a 'professional Christian' I think that it is essential to know that although you are gifted and have a calling, you have to know that you are at the same time not the centre of the universe, not the new messiah, not annointed beyond flaws, not indispensible.
I came across this a day or so back. I first came across it during my sabbatical. It reminded me of important stuff. It is from Romero. I think I ought to print it out. I could mail it to a few friends....which would really make me a self-righteous prig that most right thinking people would want to deck. A lot. No best to think on it myself........
(HT:
http://wesroberts.typepad.com/)
A Future Not Our Own...
It helps, now and then, to step back
and take the long view.
The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts,
it is beyond our vision.
We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of
the magnificent enterprise that is God's work.
Nothing we do is complete,
which is another way of saying
that the kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection.
No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the church's mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.
This is what we are about:
We plant seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted,
knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.We provide yeast that produces effects beyond our capabilities. We cannot do everythingand there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.This enables us to do something,and to do it very well.It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way,an opportunity for God's grace to enter and do the rest. We may never see the end results,but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.We are workers, not master builders,ministers, not messiahs.We are prophets of a future not our own.